The Flergers!

Confession: I read an article a while back called Opting Out of Birthday Insanity because I have been looking at ways to tone down my own insanity about birthdays. (And holidays of any sort.) This is a hard process for me because I am the kind of person who wants other people to enjoy themselves even if it stresses me out. :) I have so many happy memories of my own birthday experiences and I want to make sure my kid(s) have happy memories to look back on when they get older.

The funny thing is, my happiest childhood birthday memories were the ones we spent at home. Mom's homemade strawberry cake, singing, my grandparents there, a friend or two...those were my favorites! Which is why (since my son had his first birthday) we've done parties at home. I'll admit, my motivations are love-driven and I try to do special things for Lucas (and Jesse too) for their birthdays, but some of it is probably superfluous and unnecessary--they aren't going to think I love them less if the Happy Birthday banner doesn't coordinate with the theme of the party. :)

Lucas's 2nd birthday 3 years ago "should" have made me realize that I needed to tone it down a little bit when my son completely ignored all of his party guests and was completely overwhelmed by the noise. Same with his 3rd. And his 4th. When he shut down and blocked out everyone by crawling onto the couch and playing with one toy (instead of showing interest in opening all his other gifts) I "should" have taken notes that said "Hmm...maybe this wasn't a good idea." He doesn't really even like cake and could have cared less about the themes.

It is self-induced insanity. I do this to myself telling me that its for him. But if I stop and look back and really notice what was going on, it wasn't for him at all. The parties, the cake, the toys, the friends---those were for my memory book and not his. I've gone and made it all about me...and that gives me Mom guilt. :(

Here's a short list of what Lucas cares about the most:
1. Mommy and Daddy 2. Honey and Papa 3. Water of any form, but especially swimming pools. 4. Trains of all sorts, but especially Thomas. 5. Anything with wheels. 6. But mostly, he just wants to hang out with the people he loves.

So here's what we're doing this year. I'm unplugging from the insanity party I've been doing the last 4 years. I'm allowing myself to stop feeling so wound-up about birthdays but instead to focus on my sweet boy and things that he will actually care about.

Papa will be here this weekend and Lucas loves Papa above most anything else. Papa's birthday is Friday, so we will probably go somewhere that Papa likes to eat (my guess would be Joes' Crab Shack.) Lucas will crawl all over Papa, give him kisses, beg him for tickles, and generally smother him during the 4 days he'll be here. (That's Papa's present from Lucas.)

For Lucas's birthday, we're going on a 1 hour train ride around Grapevine on Saturday and then going to Bass Pro Shop to watch them feed the giant fish in the humongous tank (that's a joy for both Papa AND Lucas!)

We're not having a party. No guests aside from his nearest and dearest (with exception of Honey whose extenuating work circumstances will keep her from coming this year but she'll see us in June.) Our close friends who know and love us (but especially love and understand Lucas) I'm sure understand.

Can I tell you that I'm actually more excited about Lucas's birthday this year than in the past few? I can't wait to see his face when he gets to ride a train with Papa, or the sparkle in his eyes when he watches the big giant fish eating their lunch. Having Lucas has taught me a lot, and I'm a learning more and more about how to be his Mommy. And maybe its taken me 5 years to figure out that a big party and lots of chaos isn't what he likes or needs but I'm getting there! :)

There still might be cake... :) And candles. And birthday singing. :) (Some habits are hard to break.)